Shiny Squirrel and Other Distractions

Six weeks ago, my husband and I were in New Orleans, setting of The Confederacy of Dunces (a book you really should read) and home to Anne Rice. There, we ate pizza slices the size of our heads and visited a psychic, not at the same time. Pizza first.

I am a believer that some people know things that others don’t but this gentleman knew only stereotypes. He warned me about gossiping at work. I’m a self-employed writer. Who am I gossiping with? My dog? Gossip is only good when someone joins you and I assure you my dog is not a very vocal audience. Somewhat disappointing, if you just know. She is like my teenaged kids. She mainly just wants to go out.

Anyhoo, the psychic spent 15 minutes giving us relationship tropes and stereotypes.

Nothing hit home.

Until he said this…

You can’t do it all. Pick one thing and get good at it.

Now he said it in context to us as a couple, and that doesn’t fit, but it sure fits me as an author.

I’m all over the place.

Maybe that’s the creative side of me.

I’m currently working on 3 novels, 1 memoir, launching a TikTok whatever they’re called (channel?), creating a podcast, blogging, and a hundred other things, the least of which is the first one in the list.

To be a great writer, you have to write.

But to be a writer who gets to eat, you have to market yourself and your projects.

So I’m going to take the not-so-psychic guy’s advice in 2022 and dial it back, creating consistent habits of things I know I can accomplish like:

  • working on one compilation of short love stories for people who hate love stories.
  • getting out there on TikTok (obvious self promotion: @Christina.metcalf).
  • recording and launching a podcast on quick ideas to help the creative process.

Notice the pattern there?

Short.

Everything is going to be bite size. Because while I hate tapas (never large enough), I love small, quick projects.


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I’m Giving Up on Meditation. Convince Me Otherwise.

meditation and fiction

I like quiet.

That’s no secret.

That’s why I had twin boys.

I also like rainy days.

That’s why I moved to the Sunshine State.

While my decisions don’t always make sense, the older I get, the more I understand about myself.

And if there’s one thing I know, I can’t meditate. It’s not that I can’t quiet my mind. I’m actually very good at thinking about absolutely nothing.

I don’t get anything out of meditation other than maybe some well-needed sleep.

It doesn’t calm me or inspire me. It doesn’t make me feel healthier or more in touch with the secrets of the sphere.

You see, in order to effectively meditate I think you need to transcend the sarcasm level of the brain and I am just not able to move past that.

But I will offer one piece of advice for those of us who are meditation challenged…

maybe you’re not meant to enter into a deeper level of consciousness by someone talking to you or some bowl from a far-off land gonging. Maybe you need something different.

I’ve discovered my ideal morning meditation…I read.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CA-T7lkp1Rw/

My perfect morning consists of a beverage and a comfy spot on my balcony on a day when the humidity in the air is closer to 70% than 100. I find that as I read my pages, I lapse into a calm that is good for my spirit and so much better than inhaling and exhaling to someone else counting. I also have amazing thoughts and inspiration as I “meditate” to the written word.

Anyway, that’s what works for me.

Have you perfected meditation or are you like me and just don’t get how people stay awake during it?

Train Wrecks and Letting Go

Writers are observers.

I tend to be less quick to react in situations because I find myself wanting to watch how it will turn out without getting involved, something I knew would keep me from ever becoming a first responder.

Writers constantly narrate our days in our head as things are happening.

That’s what I consider the difference between a writer and a wannabe. It’s in your blood or it’s not. That’s not to say you’re born with the skills to be a writer. None of us are. We need to learn the language first.

But you are born with a natural capability and inclination to observe and you hear the words in your head as you go about your day. (That being different from hearing voices, of course.) And you care about word choice and you critique TV shows for plot lines and unrealistic dialogue. Language is an obsession for most writers.

And we have other weird quirks.

I read everything allowed as if the words are beats. I break grammar rules so that it “sounds” right using unnecessary fillers like “just” and “some” if I need a longer sentence and pattern. I use commas, not where they are appropriate or dictated by Chicago Manual of Style or Oxford, but where I want the reader to slow down and taste the sentence.

Writers are also ruined.

They have significant impressions on their psyche that they dwell on. Some are small things they like to incorporate into their writing often, like a setting or a particular kind of animal. While other impressions are longer lasting like a question they are trying to answer. For me, I often turn to trains, mechanical failings of things thought to be indestructible, and unrequited love.

And when I write that authors are ruined, that doesn’t mean we all grew up in abject poverty and abuse. It means that somewhere along the way something bothered us enough that we return to it over and over.

In West of You, I told a story of someone who died in a train “accident.” This was plucked straight out of a story I could not process as a child. A well-known painter drove into a railroad crossing and was killed with his name-sake/grandchild in my hometown. I knew the spot well and when I was told about it as a ten-year-old I could not understand how an accident like that could happen with such good visibility to an oncoming train. He had to have seen it. Did he simply freeze or was there a darker intention?

I still think about it nearly 40 years later.

But I suppose it’s not just writers who get caught up on things we can’t let go. All of us do. We repeat the same stories to our friends. And we do this because these stories had such a profound impact on us that we can’t shake the truth behind them.

For some people, these impressions ruin their lives by leading to a series of bad decisions. For others, they become fuel that fires their worldview. For writers, it hopefully becomes our bread and butter and possibly fuel for some bad decisions along the way and more stories.

What are the themes or objects you keep coming back to in your life? Knowing what they are can help you clear out some of the unnecessary clutter in your mind or better yet…

help you dive deeper into the abyss.

Dude, Kittle

Kittle on the left in happier times

My best friend took her own life on March 21, 2017. I remember because the date was 3,2,1, which I now refer to as “blast-off day.”

The book West of You is not for her.

It’s for those of us left behind.

Kittle never reached 45. She chose to check out prematurely, leaving no note, and no guidance as to how I was supposed to get through all the ridiculous changes of middle age.

West of You is not her story.

But it is a story of loss and the incredible hole left by a loved one who takes their own life. No other death leaves the same kind of raw, gnawing guilt for the survivors.

Suicide doesn’t end pain; it simply transfers it.